my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
