The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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