So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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