Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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