i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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