she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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