Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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