last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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