i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
