i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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