My friends, they love my intelligence
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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