I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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