just tell him i said nine months
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
two words...techno handjob
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
