If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
