Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
