I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
