Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
