If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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