Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
