hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
