TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
