there was a trapeze. enough said
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
