and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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