You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
