I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
