It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
