Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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