SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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