what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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