absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
