lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
