It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
