We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
