They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
