he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
