i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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