I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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