Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
