sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
