Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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