Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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