i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
