one might say we're banned from that church
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
