Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize