i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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