So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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