If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
