found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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