I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize