I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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