Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
