And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My penis needs a shock collar
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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