i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize