i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
