But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
