it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
