yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Quick, to the slutcave!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
