I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
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Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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