If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
